I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
