Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
