So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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