i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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