Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love having hate sex.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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