You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize