forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
