went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
