I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
