My brain says no but my pants say off.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
