i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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