sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
