I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize