I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just forgot I was standing up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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