Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize