Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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