I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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