i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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