So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
