She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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