Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i now understand why vodka
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
