YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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