I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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