He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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