your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
