You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize