everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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