Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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