I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
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Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
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This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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