Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I could make wine with my vomit
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
