There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
