I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
