it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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