why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
