You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had to cum in my sink.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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