Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
