he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT