Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Dual....:-)

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  (240): Dual....:-) http://tfl.nu/1kk8
  Replies (11) Good night (1981) Bad night (1425)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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  (210): It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently http://tfl.nu/9vg5
  Replies (23) Good night (2637) Bad night (884)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (1055) Bad night (3308)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  either way he was missing a nipple.

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  (203): either way he was missing a nipple. http://tfl.nu/17oh
  Replies (18) Good night (881) Bad night (6011)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover

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  (204): I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover http://tfl.nu/k1fy
  Replies (8) Good night (1492) Bad night (4201)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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  (804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1rpm
  Replies (9) Good night (3511) Bad night (929)
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  (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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  (323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0
  Replies (6) Good night (3587) Bad night (841)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"

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  (817): Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside" http://tfl.nu/md9m
  Replies (12) Good night (6548) Bad night (1190)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong

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  (409): I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong http://tfl.nu/rbr5
  Replies (5) Good night (3073) Bad night (919)
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  (631): View more from New York

  So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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  (631): So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here http://tfl.nu/ydin
  Replies (7) Good night (2207) Bad night (650)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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  (570): Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question. http://tfl.nu/xjer
  Replies (3) Good night (1794) Bad night (452)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.

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  (303): I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win. http://tfl.nu/uk9u
  Replies (10) Good night (2477) Bad night (565)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

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  (301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/5jwu
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (735)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor

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  (425): I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor http://tfl.nu/0wlf
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (444)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices

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  (615): I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices http://tfl.nu/572b
  Replies (6) Good night (387) Bad night (620)

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