brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?