i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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