Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to align my fucking chakras
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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