No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
