a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
