I'm going to jail i love you
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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