Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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