I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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