Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
