he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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