and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
