her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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