at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
