my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
