Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
soo... how was my night?
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