i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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