Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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