Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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