How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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