my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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