Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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