I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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