I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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