Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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