So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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