im having a threesome with these popsicles
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
