finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
