I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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