There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize