I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
