I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
