My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
