just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
